Friday, April 30, 2010

Collage Day!

Hey guess what?! It's collage day! I'm wondering if I should make this a staple once a week. Just some random day a week, it's collage day! We'll see. Might be a good reader surprise. So here we go!

1) Really. I don't think there's anything I could say or comment on that would make this photo more awesome.

2) That's right, a hotel about dick. Moby dick. Even has a big whale on the side of it. You might wonder why one might even bother with this hotel . . . beyond it's general awesome dickness . . . Well, my dear friend had read an article right before this trip about this hotel and it's organic oysters that could no longer claim such a title thanks to the local townfolk and were threatening to sell to the aryan nation. This was so amusing (small town awesomeness) that we just haaad to stop. Hence the awesome photo moment.

3) Again, a picture with out the need for comment. I wonder if I can get those tags to go with the shirt . . .

4) That's right ladies and gents: stirrup pants. Now you might be sitting there having horrible flashbacks circa 80's and early 90's, but you'd be wrong. This picture is oh so current. And all I have to say is WTF? And worse, what are they doing in my store! Are you fuggin' nuts?! They were horrid the first time around. This is not a trend that should have been resurected from the tumultuous ashes of scorned little girls in hatred everywhere!

5) Now how often do you walk out of your favorite Pita Pit and come across young wipper snappers dressed in formal wear with oodles of balloons? Not often I tell ya.

6) The uber perfect tshirt that everyone should have! Because it's the shit and I said so.

7) This was my mother and grandmother's birthday cake from this year. It was tiny and packed with delicious yummy goodness. And of course, before the candles are even blown out, my grandfather lets his empty wine class tip into it. Witness the smoosh in the upper left. This is the same man that let my 16th birthday cake melt in the back of his car in the middle of August because he didn't realize it was made of ice cream. Keep this man away from the cake.

8) It's not often that you're walking through the grocery store and see a big fenced in cow. No less a painted one. No less an awesomely painted one! Bowchickabrowncow!

9) I was driving downtown the other day and came across this awesome mural on the side of the building. Thanks to mr trusty stop light, I just had to take a picture. It may be about cars, but it's gorgeous. Makes me want to paint and be happy :)

11) And my final collage pic for the day . . . snow. I love this photo. I love this photo because the story behind it makes me giggle every time. On one sunny afternoon I got the urge to go for a drive in search of more pretty sunshine. Sounds simple enough. While driving through the Gorge I took a side route thinking it would lead me to a specific place. Boy howdy, was I ever wrong. It took me a specific route . . . but definitely not where I wanted to go! I drive a sedan. I call him Spike. Spike is awesome in his sedan-ness and I take him everywhere. And as eveidenced by this photo, this includes some places I shouldn't. I go in search of sun and end up finding tons o' snow! Whooops! I actually hit a point where I could go no further. Here's me and my sedan, blocked by snow so bad that I had to back out the road a mile. I must have too much gumption for my own good. Silly girl . . .

Monday, April 19, 2010

Breakin' The Habbit

Right now I'm blogging. I'm blogging because I'm crawling out of my skin and itching to do something I shouldn't . . . post an ad. Find a guy. When I say it out loud like that it sounds desperate. But it's true, but probably not the way you are thinking. Logically I'm not in a rush or urge to have sex (God knows that'd be nice though) and I'm not even really in a rush to be in a relationship. I think I'm just wanting a contact high. Ya know, someone says hi or smiles at you or finds you attractive or sends you a text or reassures you . . . that's all a contact high. It's an endorphine enducing rush. But on the flip side the non-contact or rejection can be less than stellar feeling. Every once in awhile though I get that itch though, the need for that reinforcement. And it's ridiculous! Every other moment I'm fine and then there's this . . . ugh. So now I'm blogging. And finally eating this stupidly yummy slice of cheesecake (from easter - had to be eaten) and watching cops. Geez, I sound like I'm eatin' bon bons and watchin' days of our lives. So sad. But then again . . . what a tremendously fabulous cheesecake. I will say I think God intervened on my behalf by preventing me access to my posting account. For the life of me I could not log in. This was God's bloody 2X4 bashing me over the head until I stopped trying. Ok, I get it. So now I'm blogging.

In other news . . . my meals have not been incredibly healthy today. I don't get paid until Wednesday so I'm eating on the cheap. That's code for scrounging around my cupboard for something that's really easy to cook and sounds good and probably is really unhealthy. The decent thing is that this is only one meal of the day and only lasts another day. Thank heavens!

On the other hand, I also feel sort of lousy today. I worked in my yard for half the day yesterday and I think my body is now revolting. It is letting it be known that this is unacceptable behavior by charlie horsing my thigh all day long starting at 5:30 this morning and then by cramping up the top of my foot beneath my toes. Yeah, that's swell. Boo! So because of this, what would have been a great sleep became not so great. And now I'm kind of pooped.

And on that note, I think I'm going to go rest some more. Love!

A Day Of Lists

So I'm reading this article, sort of a self-help thing, and in the steps for Day 2 & 3 are making lists. So I thought I would jot them down here . . .

I Belive In . . .

True love
Finding my fit
Doing what I love
Not putting up with crap
Exploring & Adventures
Road Trips
Magic-finger beds
The right to choose
Working hard in my yard
Fighting for what I want
The feel of water against my skin and being able to swim
Cooking big meals for friends and family to enjoy
Finding the dog I really want
Saying I Do forever
Concerts & Movies outside
Doing little things to show someone they are important
Saying please and thank you
Hoping doors for and saying hello to the elderly and disabled
The potential of kids
The beauty of reading
The pot o' gold at the end of the rainbow
Holiday fun
Good hair days
Working out because it makes me feel good, not because I want to be someone else's ideal
Loving myself through each step

Today I Get To . . .

Enjoy my ride home
Blast my music as loud as I want
Dance while doing the dishes
Smile at a clean kitchen
Throw out clutter
Do more laundry
Smile at my newly planted planter boxes
Sort through all my X stuff and rediscover things
Find new places for things and potentially redecorate
Feel charitable while getting my Goodwill & Transitional Youth bags together
Hang up clothes
Read more
Dance in my living room
Find things I thought were missing
Ignore frustrating people
Have tea!
Hope for sun tomorrow
Be excited for Cirque Du Soleil tomorrow
Be excited for Wednesday's paycheck
Plan a meal at home
Finish Hot Fuzz

Thursday, April 15, 2010

An Overwhelming Experience

This evening I had an overwhelming experience that I felt like I should share. My father and I went to dinner at the buffet. We try to do something once a week that's just us. A bonding sort of thing. Anywho . . . we're finishing up our meal and I notice in the corner the sweetest little old man. Each time he passed, he was lovely and smiled in that genuine way. I observed him for some time and then the oddest feeling washed over me. I got the urge to get up and go over and introduce myself and say hello. I don't know why, but i could not shake the feeling. It sat with me for a good time. Like if I did, it would be a better place. In the end, I didn't do it. And it felt wrong not doing so. When we left I made a very specific point to smile and wave to him. His face lit up as he waved back. I'm happy I waved, but I teared up at the thought that it wasn't really what I wanted to do. I felt there was more there.

Every once in awhile I get these feelings and they are overwhelming. I love them and hate them at the same time. I love them because it's a feeling to do good or do better. I hate them because if I go against it then I feel bad or wrong.

Another example happened last week. I was driving to my grandparents and passing through a small neighborhood. Along the side of the rode in the driveway was a sweet man in his wheelchair, just watching traffic go by. I quickly decided that I was going to wave to him as I drove by. Then low and behold . . . he waves to me first! He knocked me outta my socks. Of course I waved back. And continues to smile for the rest of the day because of it. Amazing.

So that's my story. I had to share. I hope that it will inspire you next time you get that feeling to do something good that you'll take it . . . with love.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

It's Wednesday. It's Business Time!

Happy Hump Day Everyone!

The Neighbor Guy Chronicles: Part I

So as I promised, here's the scoop on my neighbor: We have speculated that he's either a drug dealor or a pimp. We being my dad, myself, my mom and my friends. And here I present the evidence . . .

I don't know my neighbor's name, and though he's been called lots of names (insert listed profanity here), for all intensive purposes we'll call him "neighbor guy". The previous neighbor guy and neighbor guy family were awesome. I never realized how awesome they were until current neighbor guy moved in. Let me tell you folks, the grass is always greener. Previous neighbor guy had two (ish) kids, a sweet wife, an awesome dog, mowed the lawn, jogged at night, kept his place tidy and waved at you when you passed by. My other surrounding neighbor guys are like this as well essentially save some editable details. Currrent neighbor guy is nothing like this.

When he first came, he came with an entourage. Or at least it might as well of been because he had a gigunda trailer and moved his house in stages I think with vehicles a'plenty.. And of course, he had no consideration for where he parked his trailer. Meaning he didn't give a crap if him parking his trailer on that side meant that we had to do a twenty point k-turn to get out of our driveway versus parking further down which did not mean such. Wait, gets better.

In association with neighbor guy comes neighbor guy's family and neighbor guy's toys. Family first: He himself is an interesting fellow. It's as if Mark Twain had bad style from the 90's (light blue tapered jeans, fluffy white sneakers, etc) and coupled that with a mad scientist meets angry jackass face look. I've never seen him smile and doubt I ever will. He always walks with intent, though strongly sauntering and if you just happen to be in his presence though not an integral part of it, you will be briefly glanced over though not acknowledged. The only way even this will happen is if you come within his bubble. He will not look up to notice you. Too much effort. Then there's his meek as a mouse wife. You can tell she's a good person, though she looks weathered and as though life has beaten her down a bit. Or he has. It seems as though she doesn't take much pride in her appearance and though I've seen her dress nicely on few occasions, her traditional state of attire is simple and effortless. And when I say effortless, I don't mean Jackie-O or Nicole Kidman effortless, I mean with lack of effort. She looks down when walking and sort of slouches. At leas she acknowledges your existence. The daughter(s), unsure if it's two or if it's one with lots of Beyonce-esque wardrobe changes, is interesting in her own right. Angsty teenage girl meets socialite. Straight flat -ironed dark hair, thin as a toothpick frame with teenage meets punk rock style. I'll give her credit for being individual. I've never heard the family mention more than few words in passing to each other and I'm not sure if the tention is normal, anger induced or sheer neglect. They also have a dog. Either a husky or a malabute, not sure because he's quite lean. Cute as a button though. He sits on the chair in their front window, peering outside hoping you are the one he wants to be home. They've recently taken to setting him outside via long leash during semi-sunny days. Maybe they think he needs to work on his vitamin D. However, I know for a fact that he gets plenty when they aren't around. I know this because he houdini's out of the backyard and starts wandering the neighborhood yards with boy curiosity and purpose. And if you happen to catch him in this act, he gives you a look that's a cross between trouble maker and "you won't tell on me, will you?". I think that dog is the smartest out of all of them.

The toys: When we first came, we came in tow with the Escalade (of course!), an older 90's drop drop two door mercedes and an awesome jet black 60's or early 70's corvette. Please note, unless we are discussing the oldies version of this car, I do not care for it. It's a mid-life crisis car. The corvette sat initially on the street prior to becoming a permanent driveway fixture. And when I say "in the street", I mean in the street. Most people, out of general consideration and respect for the law, will park their street vehicles with one tire on their property and the other side on the street. Not this guy. It's full street. This would later be established as his irritatingly standard method for parking. So, as everyone knows, it rains a lot in Oregon. If I had a nice car, I would make sure it's covered to ensure a lack of body damage during the rainy season. Not this guy. Grant you, he keeps it covered, but half hazardly and not with much care. This later became incredibly irritating as I watched the car deteriate. Later down the line, a later 90's beamer is introduced, the corvette majically disappears to never be seen again and a boat becomes parked in their driveway. Literally. A boat. And the mercedes because an occasional guest. Now because the boat is parked in the driveway rather than the yard, we are unable to park both cars (escalade and beamer) in the driveway at the same time. This further perpetuates the craptastic street parking choices. I've combated the blank brain thinking twice by subtly reminding him of his jackassness. Once by pulling up a foot away from where he was standing in order to perform my k-turn to back into my driveway because his boat of a vehicle was parked in the way. The other time I pulled up very close to his vehicle when I was backing up while he was still in the vehicle. We gave each other a look. My frustration later bloomed tenfold upon discovering that low and behold, both vehicles could fit in the driveway with the boat. He was just being a terd. Remind me to send him a thank you note. Fast forward to today, boat moves into yard, room becomes exponentially multiplied in the driveway, we still park in the street (and so do our friends & family) but it's less often.

So by now, you might be wondering what all this has does to suggest his pimp & dealer status. the answer is nothing, it's just ammusing background. The pimp & dealer staus is lent to by the fact that he's never home until late at night, leaves at all hours throughout the night and early morning, is home during the day at random times, carries around large black duffle bags often and of course, his all around dickheadish demeanor.

There's more, but I'll let that marinate for awhile. Think about it . . .

Antsy Pants

In theme with the title of this blog, I felt the reference to Pants was completely applicable and hi-larious. For more information on how twighlight really works, check out THIS. I would like to preface this comic by saying it's awessome and I still love despite secretly watching the Twilight (watching also = owning) and for not-so-secretly refusing to continue to read the captain spazzoid books. I did attempt the "literature" angle of it and could not stand the 13-year-old useless drama slobber that millions of ladies and gay men everywhere called a book. Hate me. C'mon, you know you want to.

Moving on . . . It's 6am. Why on God's green earth am I awake? I don't officially have to be awakee for another two hours. The extra clincher, I was awake at 5am. No one, and no one being me, should be awake at that hour unless it's for something thoroughly awesome like free breeakfast or disneyland. And I understand a portion of my readership may tell me to quit my bitchin', to which I respond that I am not whining to you. I am whining to myself, out loud, in a venue in which you just happen to be present. We good? Cool beans.

So here I was, 5am, sleeping just peachy and all of a sudden my body jolts me awake out of my coma. And it's not like 1am or 2am where if you get woken up you can go back to sleep. No. At 5am, if you're awake for more than half a second then the pee clock kicks in. Your bladder awakens and says must pee now. Damn. So after 15 minutes of agonizing, I attempted to half awakenly stumble to the appropriate location and back again and fall back asleep. No dice. Fumbled again. Then my brain started to think. And on top of it, it was being witty. If my brain is being retarded (and please look up the definition of what "to retard" something actually means before you get on my case about using said word)  then that's one thing. I can tell it that it's being stupid and to shut up. But if it's being witty, that's a whole other story. I then have to entertain it's wittyness. And since it's been awhile, I thought I'd put it to good use here.

Yesterday I posted a blog about needing a hug. Well after said blog, the need just grew. Let's see . . . I concluded my work day with a pain in the arse caller. I knew he was going to be a pain in the arse caller from the start, I just knew it. My bad for wanting to be awesome. Any person that calls up and starts off their voice message with "have one of your people look into this for me" rather than "hi, my name is blah blah blah and I'm with blah blah blah and this is my problem", they're gonna be a pain in the arse. It's a fact. Yes your majesty, I'll get right on that for you. Can I have your name please? Oh that's right, you didn't leave one and I have to figure it out through the domain name you told us to check out. That's nice. And then when I finally did call him back with an answer that he disliked, he proceeded to grill me on useless facts that have no relative baring on the actual issue we are disscussing. We talk to lots of people. No, I don't know how many. Why? Because it doesn't matter to you how many! Yes, the word support is sort of funny. Why am I using it? Because we can't support you and I can't tell you tough shit in those terms! Why did it work before and it doesn't now? I'm unsure, but once we hang up I will discuss further with my behind-the-scenes website minions on how to further screw up your site because you're that much of a pain in the arse and we go around on random looking for douche-bag-esque photos for people we really want to have a bad day. That's just how we roll.

So as if that were not enough, it gets worse. Everyone knows that I'm doing some inner reflection, self-help, grow better work on myself right now. That's right, everyone. There was a memo. And in said work, I'm treading this fine line of old habbits versus learning how to establish new habbits with people. That all being said, some of my pet peeves will never change. In fact, two in particular. A) Dishonesty. This seems pretty straight forward. If you decide to be a lying scumbag, that's cool, but get away now. NOW. In all reality, dishonesty is just a peeve because I use to be dishonest and didn't like the person I was because of it and don't want that around me. That's right, I'm fruedingly hating my past self. And B) Inconsideration. This is a biggie for me also, for the same reasons above. Further past-self-disgust. I cannot stand inconsideration. I don't care if you aren't going to do something, just don't tell me you are. I have things to do and I don't care to wait idly by for you to do it. This applies to things like caling me, going out on some pre-determined outing with me, etc. This semi-applies to things like taking out the trash, mowing my lawn, getting the paper. I say semi-applies because part of my disposition is to go do it myself if you you aren't going to. But these things don't hang my life, they are pidly things. I get so frustrated when I'm left hanging. Like I'm some wilty school girl willing the phone to ring. Or if I've rescheduled something to accomodate said plan and it never comes to fruition. Not ok. I make time for what's important to me, so if I've rearranged my schedule for something that has to do with you, that means it is important. Don't boag out on it like a tool. If it's spur of the moment or something radical happens like the zombie apocalypse or your granny is laying like a turtle unable to get up on her bath mat, then by all means, boag out. Boag away! I too would be more concerned with executing cardio and the double tab than our shopping excursion to find the right flip flops. See Zombieland for further reference. And it's so hard to determine when you're in the right or you're being Grumps McGurtch. This fine line between being forgiving and understanding versus a doormat. If you gotta cancel (i.e. something unexpected came up, you overslept, zombies are gnawing on your arm, etc), just let me know. It's pretty simple. I'm potentially being hypocritical as I'm sure there is an instance or five that I'm neglecting to remember in the time since my past life where I have done the above and been inconsiderate. I'm sorrry.

And finally, a third disaster . . . sitting on my coffee table is the screne of my last crime. I've started to drift towards the land of wine-o the last couple weeks. I blame my family. We are all tastefully lushy at times. Not in that obnoxious drunkenly sort of way, but in the we appreciate a good . . . sort of way. Those really close to me, and now you, know that I don't really drink. I'll have a beer or a glass of wine or . . . every once in a blue moon if I'm being social, but beyond that it's not my cup of tea. This is partly because alcoholism runs in my gene pool so rather than tempt fate, I just stay on the other end of the spectrum for safety. Well, I abused a glass of wine last night. I didn't realize it until later and upon that realization, the shame train insued. I thought I grabbed it to relax and fall asleep. And in all fairness, those things did occur. But I later realized I grabbed it because I was frustrated and used it to cope. This is bad for me. Need to cope in other ways. I had wanted to work out yesterday afternoon, but I rescheduled it. (See above paragraph for reasons). And then I became beyond frustrated. So because of all of this, I'm putting myself back on alcohol and sweet tooth restrict. This may seem strange to people, but I do so in order to develope other, better coping behaviors. Otherwise I'll look like a Thanksgiving day parade float. A potentially lushy one.  When those good behaviors are re-embedded, then I can reintroduce those things. My brain sounds so rediculously analytical sometimes, geez.

I'm so tempted to take a personal day today. Or at least half of one. I feel ughy, both in the brain and the body. After only one workout my body is craving another one. My tummy has still not recovered from the delicious meat outting from Monday, though I probably didn't help it yesterday. And I feel sort of sluggish. But of course I will go to work. (I'm telling myself such so there is no option). I went to work with a broken leg, you can go in for four hours and trudge your way through it. I think I do better with physical pain than emotional ughyness and tummy ughyness. I'm tempted to go up and soak in a tub and reelax my cares away since I still haven't done so since my cast came off. I'm in sort of an anti-social mood today so I think it'd be nice to shut my phone off, go for a drive, go soak and then come home and do me-stuff tonight. And no tv. I think that's the ticket.

Ya know, I didn't feel that great sunday evening for some reason or another, can't remember, but I remember asking/hoping for a better next day. And I remembered that all it takes is one moment to make you laugh and make you feel better. I'm going to hope for that today. Said moment on monday was brought to me by the city. My front window looks out across the stree to my neighbor's front yard. He has tons of overgrown, not taken care of, shrubbery masking the front of his house (more on that later) so you can't really see that side of his yard or house. I never really thought that much about it until that morning when two young men from the city stopped by and decided to make my morning. I guess they city had had enough of part of the shrubbery interfereing with something in the yard that they needed access to, probably a water emter, and therefore decided that enough was enough. So out walk these two guys, one with large loppers and the other with a plastic bucket. Intriguing I know. And then lopper guy starts going to town and hacking at these bushes willy nilly. Pent up aggression perhaps? I secretly imagined that he had had a fight with his girl that morning over cuddle time and that's why he was so forcefully going about the hacking process. So as he's lopping away, he occassionally pushes reminents out of the way back towards little bucket guy. Bucket guy scoops up said pieces into said bucket. This in itself itsn't all that amusing. That is until he realized his bucket was too small for the hack job. Leave it to a man to try and fit something too big into something too small. Spacially challenged. But bucket guy keeps on keepin' on and attempts to stuff the bucket to the brim with shrubbery. Finally, he realizes he needs to step up his game and decides he needs to crush it down with his foot. That's right, when it does not bend to your will, stamp on it with your boot. That'll work. Or so he thought until his foot got stuck in the bucket. And then I died laughing. Lopper guy is still hacking away and his buddy is walking around with a bucket on his foot. To no avail of course. Finally he gets lopper guy's attention and they both try to get it off. Finally he starts to unwedge and pops his foot free . . . without a shoe of course. The bucket ate his shoe. Amazing. He's hopping around in bucket humiliation and lopper guy starts to crack up. And I die laughing again. it all ended up ok, but for that bried time, nothing else in the world mattered,. How could something compare to that awesomeness? Peanuts I teall you. And a big thank you to my city for making my day. Even now.

And that, ladies and jellyspoons is my morning. For now . . . Love!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Painting Debut ~ Lotus

So after talking so much about my painting last week, I thought I would share. This is the final product. Apologies for the less than awesome picture quality, but you get the jist. Now on to the next painting :)

Hug Me

I need a hug. A good hug would be good right now. For a multitude of reasons. They are as follows :)

Food Coma: I am currently recovering from a food coma today. A meat extravaganza. Our work department went to Brazill Grill last night and oh my gosh . . . meat. I love Brazill Grill, like 12 differently prepared meats and yummy pineapple. Where could you go wrong? It's a meal made for a man! It's also a meal that you prepare for by not eating a whole lot that day lol. And while it was oh so yummy and completely worth it, the meal combined with other things put me right to sleep. I woke up and it was pretty much not even a question of being hungry. Had to go very simple, chai tea and a slice of banana bread. Anything more than that and ugh.

Pain. The Good Kind: I decided to finally get my tush back in the gym yesterday. I've been really wanting to, but have been avoiding it like the plague for various reasons. I can't currently do what I was doing before to the same extent, I haven't been in months, recovering from the broken leg, tired, blah blah blah, excuse excuse excuse. So I made myself go. And it felt wonderful. Oh how I missed being in water. I love water, I'm a huge water baby. Swimming and splashing and moving around all feel very natural. I will note though that I quickly realized that I've lost so much tone and endurance it's ridiculous. Between the lack of working out before getting injured (the winter blues?) and getting injured, I feel blobby. Not ok. But I am determined to get that and more back and I'm so excited about it. But of course, there's that day-after discovery of muscles you had forgotten about and all new ones . . . ouch.

Bon Voyage To Emotional Baggage!: This weekend I finally got around to getting my stuff from X. I made myself go over while it was nice and just do it. And of course, the things X thinks are yours vs what really is yours is exponentially different. I paid for a lot of big name pieces and stuff during the relationship, but I just don't care about leaving those. Why be bitchy? Just took the stuff that was mine that meant something to me or was important or he wouldn't use and a friend could. Got my dining table and patio umbrella though thanks to my dad's car and my awesome helpful gal pal. I'm so thankful for that! I will say the whole thing hit me a lot harder than expected. I've been doing well and feeling good that it was definitely the right decision for me and being months out of it gives you a comforting level of dettachment. But going back and reliving the places and items and cat, that'll do it. I also admit, I had a petty moment. X did something incredibly petty and it hurt so I retaliated by taking something extra that I was going to leave. I was stupid and I shouldn't have done it. Everyone says I was perfectly in the right to take it since I paid for it, but I think it's the reason I did so that bugs me. I hate petty stuff and try to pride myself on not being that way. I guess everyone has a moment of childishness where stupidity reigns supreme. My friend said something interesting to me . . . "Do you care what they think of you?" And to be honest, I do. I shouldn't, but I do. I care what ending impression I leave someone with. Even though you end it, if it was still an ok experience, I'd like to leave on an ok note. Oh well I guess. To be honest, I doubted myself for two seconds. Then of course, I came to my senses. Silly me! I had a moment saying good bye to kitty. That was probably the hardest. I love kitty. But forced myself to leave and move forward which is a good thing for me. It's what is right. I know for certain that's definitely not the situation for me and am enjoying the new stage of life of I'm in now . . .

Have I earned my hug yet? I sure hope so!

On a side note, I'd like to leave off with what I consider a good hug to be. I understand there's all sorts of hug types . . . the side hug, the jump-into-your-arms-excited hug, the lean-in-but-not-touch-shoulder-pat hug, the so-good-to-see-you hug. All of these are everyday hugs. And they are all acceptable at applicable times. But to be more precise, I think I need a good boy hug. One of those full body hugs, that surrounds you with warmth and comfort. That fills your nose pleasantly with the smell of the other person (assuming they smell good, one would hope). That wraps around you and envelopes you. The kind that you don't want to let go from and that you smile and say mmmm to yourself. Now that's a good hug.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

The Interestingness Of It All

Upon googling (I love that term) theword interesting, I came across this picture. I find this acceptable.

Life has been sort of crazy this week. I'm doing a painting for my Gma for her bday on friday and so I've been putting in time here and there to try and get it done. However, the time I had planned to have was sort of sucked dry by life. Blast. I had it all worked out and had planned this time in the space time continuim just perfectly that would allow for said paintage. And then a friend called balling . . . three hours later, no painting. In fact, three hours later I was even mad at my painting. Not because I had been taken away from it, but because I didn't follow my gut and screwed it up. Now, I have to fix. And because of the fix it, I have to fix the fix too. It's all a lot of fixing. My uncle comes in from Denver tonight to surprise her and so there most of an evening gone. I am going to try to slip out at 7 though and get home to work. Good luck me. On a side note though, I am thrilled to be going to the airport. Oh how I love the airport! It makes me happy in so many ways. Most people don't understand this, just go with it.

I did a couple loads of laundry last night so that's a good start. Frankly, I got fed up and couldn't take it. Clothes were strewn everywhere, shoes weren't put away, tea cups to the kitchen and I was running out of clothes. This last factor was the clincher. You can work your way around the others, but when you run out of clothes and are still required to be a functioning member of society in public, you better do laundry. I feel better that the room is tidy though too, it's easier to function. Less bogged down. I will say though, I DESPISE hanging up my laundry. I could fold till the cows come home and have no problem putting things away in drawers, but the hanging up process . . . I'm not particularly fond of.

Hmm what else . . . I got my hairs done last night. FINALLY! I haven't gotten my hair done since before Christmas and it was getting unacceptable. I didn't want to do it when I was still casted because it was just one thing too many. But now I am a happy gal. I love my hair gal, she's super sweet with some sass. I always have to hunker down while she's blow drying my hair because I'm taller than her. I find it ammusing. And she's one of those girls who always smell good. Like warm spice.

I find this week that I've been a particularly bad patient. They put me in an ankle brace for a month and put me in to pt, but I haven't bracing consistently and due to unexpected things I've had to reschedule my last two pt appointments. Bad me. My ankle and leg have been revolting in turn by swelling to gargantuan (not spelled the way I would have thought) proportions. Note: gargantuan is based on perspective. I hope it resolves itself quickly.

I have to get my things from the x's this weekend. Even after a month I haven't gotten them yet. I think I've been avoiding it because I'm lazy and/or it's been raining and/or it's uncomfortably awkward and I don't want to be clearing out while he's there. It's weird. Just need to suck it up and do it though. He'll be on a date Saturday so I'll do it then. Ya know, I don't really care that he's on a date or moving forward because I'm in a good place right now. What I can't stand is people who snarkily slip in that it's a date to get a reaction out of you. I really can't stand that crap, it just makes me think less of you. And that whole dating someone new while you're in love with someone else (his words, not mine), yeah that's crap too. How is that fair to the new person? Talk about not giving them a fighting chance. I've been that new person, it felt like a complete waste of time. A word of advice people: Don't start dating till you have your shit together. And finally coming out of your foggy beer haze and being in a position to have a little money despite the fact that you were destitute for months on end, does not equal having your shit together. I'm done with my soap box now . . .

In other news, I have still not figured out what the hell to get my mother for her birthday. And now she's icky sick. I post-face this with: I did not do it. I had ideas. Was going to do her a painting, but that time ran out. Thought about getting her a giant wine barrel planter, but I'm thinking no now. Too much thinking. Might do a barnes & noble gift card (we like books) and a trip to the soaking tubs. I think it's that kind of birthday. I can do something more wow later. And ugh, I have to get birthday cards. I have this thing with birthday cards . . . I look through the possibilities, see one I like  . . . and even though I give other cards a chance, it's always that initial one I like that ends up being it.

Trailmix, Applesauce and Hot Tea . . . I have a thing for these things right now. Trail mix is a good yummy snack food and the one I get doesn't have salt in it. This makes it yummier. I always hated the excess salt. I love salt sometimes, who doesn't? But too much is too much. Applesauce I've been liking because every once in awhile I just get a hankering for something simple. It's simple and wet yet creamy in a non-cream sort of way. It's a nice evening treat when I have a little hankering for something sweet but don't want to get into the sweets. And hot tea is hot tea. There is no questioning it.

On that note . . . I think I'm going to end this blog. I'm not feeling incredibly witty or profound in the randomness. Perhaps more will come later as the clock winds down. Love to all!

Friday, April 2, 2010

Ahhh Yes, Portland

Today in my friday oblivion I came across the most beautifully inappropriate, yet true definition of Portland on I could not help but post. Enjoy!

Largest city in Oregon and the only fun place in Oregon as well, except mt hood and bend. We are all members of blazermania, but hate the team when they suck. Brandon Roy is basically god to portlanders. We hate seattle and everything to do with it. Blacks have north portland, white trash has gresham, rich whites have the west hills and lake oswego, middle class whites have Beaverton, asians have bethany amd rock creek, and the mexicans have hillsboro, it's pretty simple. We don't have sales tax and we'll do just about anything to keep it that way, even if it means taking money from the schools. We all love nature and the outdoors, most portlanders go to the beach or the mountain on weekends. 23rd is our 5th avenue. We also have burgerville, probably the best fast food restaurant ever. Portlanders are extremely proud of the city, it's pretty much the best place to live.

Key terms if your a tourist:

Freddies= Fred Meyer, we buy pretty much everythig from there

Civil war= football game that's basically bigger than the superbowl. U of O vs OSU

MAX= lightrail train, NEVER ride it in Gresham, you will be raped

Terrwilleger curves= at 6 in the morning and 6 at night, pretty much hell on earth

Hillsburrito= How portland solved illegal aliens, we gave the mexicans their own city to fuck around in.

Democrat= we all are, don't bother asking

Sunriver, cannon beach, and bend= our heavens on earth

1977= the year the blazers won the NBA championship, everyone knows this

PDX= airport

Requirements in portland:

At least one article of clothing must be Nike. Adidas is not ok, reebok is non existant

Support the local breweries and coffeeshops. Although there are 40 starbucks within a mile where ever you are

Never carry an umbrella, true portlanders love the rain

Never go into voodoo doughnuts and complain about having bacon on your doughnut, that's just the way it is

If you go to the rose gardens, you are automatically labeled a tourist

Drive fast, only asians are allowed to go 55 on the highway, otherwise 70-80 is the real speed limit

NEVER HAVE AN U OF O AND OSU BUMPER STICKER ON THE SAME CAR!!!! Your car will be burned and thrown in the river

Know how to pronounce willamette and couch correctly, if mispronunced you will be thrown into the river

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Neat Trick

You know what's great about today? Tomorrow's friday. Lol. I love friday because it's casual friday at my work and with the already semi-languid pace of support requests currently, it makes for a nice end to the week. I also work completely with menfolk so casual can actually be casual and not stuffy. That's nice.

I've kind of been in this weird haze today. I woke up from really weird dreams and, despite having slept a goodly amount of hours, my body just did not want to wake up. Couple that with the funk that allergies put into your head and it just makes things ughy. It was a beautiful day here and that was nice, I just wish I could have appreciated it more. After work I grabbed some food and then fell asleep reading in bed for a couple of hours. After waking up, I could have just gone back to sleep, but I thought it would be good to blog before bed and it gave me the perfect excuse for some tea. Tea time!

I've been trying to read this book called Shadow of the Wind. It's been challenging. I'm not sure why, but I feel like I've been waiting to truly get into it. Grant you I like it, the descriptions of everything are beatiful and well written, not like the twilight dribble. But at almost halfway into it, I'm still waiting to truly sink my teeth into it. My mother recommended the book to me. We like to share reading materials back and forth. She recommended The Shack to me and I absolutely loved it. I'm hoping this ones hooks me in more. i think part of the reason I'm so commited to reading it, other than being half of the way into it, is because she said it's her favorite. For my mother to say a book is her favorite, that's a pretty big endorsement. I owe it the opportunity. my grandmother on the other hand, that's hit or miss when it comes to recommendations . . . we'll see there.

It's Holy Week. i will say that when I was little easter never held much reverence for me. Beyond chocolate bunnies and easter eggs that is, hehe. I understood the general principles of it of course, but the meaning never really sank in until much later in life when I came back to my faith to reside. Now the general feeling of it all sits in a good place. I'm debating on whether or not to go to church sunday though. I am as of yet undecided. I love going to church and the feeling it gives me, I don't do it that often though. I'm picky on church. I don't really like big loud congregations (loud as in youth loud, not loud as in baptist loud) and I was raised more in the traditional sense iof church. I.e. no tvs, dressing up nicely. I understand that there is sort of a goal to bring in the younger generations, but eh. If I have faith, I'll be there. I don't need the extra hooha to sucker me in. To me it's not about showing me how prosperous you are monitarily, it's about showing me your love for God.

Easter Eggs. I use to do easter eggs with my mom when I was little and have since tried to continue the tradition. I didn't really think about it until now, but now that I'm thinking about it, that might be fun. But instead of using dye, I might paint them. I've never tried it before, but it could result in some goodness.

I processed and posted some pictures I took last night and last summer. It was nice to be able to come back to them and feel good about what was produced. If I do a photo excursion, I don't care how many pictures I take as long as I can come out with one or two really good ones that I can feel good about. And often I have to come back to them later with a fresh eye to be able to appreciate what came out of the trip. I'm really looking forward to nicer weather. Last year I got lost and didn't really do too much photography. Not gonna happen this year. I'm determined to take as many trips as possible and to capture some new sights. I'm hoping to do a couple solo trips around Oregon and Washington to get some good photos. I was hoping to do my AZ road trip this year, but I think it will have to wait till next year.

I think my hormones are up in the air today. I feel sort of angsty. It probably doesn't help that I'm an overthinker and sort of up in the air about just about everything in my life right now. I'm trying to appreciate the beauty of this time in my life and not rush to "the next stage". I'm trying to just be. And while I've rediscovered a lot of myself in the last month or so, I don't think I've really hit my groove yet. My goal next week, hopefully this weekend even, is to get a couple good swims in. We'll see with all the plans that are going on next week, but I guess if you don't make time then it's never going to happen. I feel good and healthy when I'm working out so I think that puzzle piece is definitely missing. I wish my leg were fully healed, but I guess patience is also part of the rehabilitation process.

I think I'm also overthinking this solitary concept. I think I'm overthinking the idea that someone should give a whit about it. I like spending time alone as much as I like spending time with my good friends and family. My alone time keeps me sane and it's also my time to be with me. I don't think that can be wrong. My alone time keeps me sane. I don't need it all the time and I'm quite content having someone special to experience things with, but I also like that time just to process whether it's to read, hike, paint, or anything else that suits my fancy. Oh geez, now I feel like I'm justifying my aloneness. This is craptastic. It seems like there's such a negative conotation to the term "alone". I get lonely sometimes. Don't be fooled, it happens. Not always, but it will creep in here and there. Particularly when I'm not keeping myself occupied. But I think right now that's just one more emotion to get comfortable with rather than glaze over. I think part of the reason I am comfortable in my alone time is because I decided long ago that I couldn't wait forever for someone else to show me the things I wanted to see and experience the things I wanted to experience. Not everyone else would hav ethe money to go here or not everyone would want to do this. So I just did it. Some call it fearless, to me it's just logical. And secretly, dancing in my living room and conducting music that plays on my ipod is a delicious way to experience.

Ya know, I would consider myself not one to trend hop. Ipod, iphone, blue ray, Office 2007, Windows 7, blah blah blah. I love my vcr as much as I love my dvd player. My dvr is evil genius. I have a small, non flat screen tellie in my personal space. When mp3 players first came out I didn't buy in. I was quite content with my neato cd player. I'm still happy with it in fact, I can beat the crap out of that thing and it still works. I didn't think I would get fully invested into the digital music scene. Then, a couple years after the first releases, my dad bought a zune which I inturn bought off him because he doesn't end up using half the crap he buys. So just like his portable dvd player, I became the proud owner of a mp3 player. And I loved it. I was floored by how invested I got into it. It was so handy! I could take it everywhere, listen to it anywhere and watch things at the drop of a hat! What amazing goodness! And then it died. Boo. It took me a year or so to reinvest into the digital awesomeness again. Partly because of the expense and partly because I decided to go big or go home. A piddly 30gb was not going to cut it for me. I could fill that up in an instant. I'm a bit of a music junkie. So I went for the big tamale, 160gb ipod. And I fell in love again. The handiness has returned and is astounding. Sort of bummed I can't put a background on it like I could my zune, but who really cares? The same thing kind of happened to me with the iphone. I was completely content in my blissful ignorance of the iphone temptation with my awesome pink phone. But then it started to get kind of old and the need to have email on the go for biz started to press forth. So I went 'a shoppin' and found that for the price, there was no contest. Everything was almost as expensive as the next and omg the iphone! I did not relized how attached I would get to it and now I love it. I'm a convert. A traitor to the phone world, a part of the dark side. Muahahaha. I'm still determined to not give a darn about blue ray though . . . maybe in a couple years ;)

Blast it, now I'm kind of awake. I was hoping this would make me feel done for the day, like I accomplished what I needed to and then I could feel ok about going to bed for the night. But nooooo . . . Now I'm in this half awake half asleep phase. Argh. And no, I'm not contributing this to the tea, I refuse to blame the tea. Or the nap. Not the nap. I have other things for other blogs, but my fear is that if I don't stop now, then I'll blog for the next couple hours and not go to bed at a decent time. That would be bad. In the back of my head I'm also wondering what I want to do with my friday after work. I'm thinking of maybe taking myself to a movie in the afternoon and then having a pizza night afterwards. I haven't had pizza in a couple months and it kind of sounds good to me right now. I'm not sure what I want to do beyond pizza though. That whole tv diet thing sort of eliminates the possibility of mindlessly zoning out to the boob tube. Maybe some blogging, maybe a little painting if I'm feeling more awake. I am contemplating doing two small paintings for the upcoming ladies birthdays. Of flowers maybe. I always love the challenge of doing new flowers. I'd have to get a couple small canvases, but oh the art store is a dangerous place for me. I could get lost with ideas depending on my mood.

On this note, I think I'm going to sign off, get ready for bed and attempt to read a little further. I wish you all a pleasant evening! Love!