Thank You. Yeah You!

from fashioncollective.com

Between watching Monday's The Big C episode last night and then reading SillyGrrl's blog from today, I felt the need to be thankful as well. Because, really, when is thankfulness not in style?

• Thank you to my parents. Thank you Dad for teaching me the finesse of being a smartass, having the patience to know I do things in my own time and do hear you, for teaching me to keep my head down-mouth shut-do your job-everyone else will dig their own hole, for exposing me to such a world of culture that I am blessed to have seen. Thank you Mom for teaching me art, taking me anywhere and everywhere and teaching that nothing is too far away, for the Abraham Lincoln bust that is inspirationally creepy, for the skill of arranging flowers that has come in handy so many times that you'd never know, for thinking that one day I will eventually develop my green thumb despite often killing my plants, for sharing your recipes and helping me with my ever-growing cooking skills ~ one day I will cook a Thanksgiving dinner, thank you for being such a strong example of a woman that I can think of nobody else I would rather want to strive to be like.

• Thank you Boo for coming into my life. We both needed love.

• Thank you to my 9 to 5 as well, you've stuck with me and had the patience to wait for me to come into my own and flourish, you offer me a wealth of knowledge in an alternative way, bring a smile to my face at least once a day and you make me finally hungry for something more to achieve.

• Thank you to my ladies. I am always amazed by your beauty, knowledge and inspiration. You support like no other and I'm so thankful to still have you in my life. To more years to come!

• Thank you to my awesome family. Though we don't see other often, I treasure each moment and conversation together.

• Thank you to my favorite bloggers for being examples of what great people in the world look like.

Future Thank Yous . . .

• Thank you to My List for growing and becoming even more awesome!
• Thank you to My Fit, I know you will be an amazing man with a great outlook, sense of humor and a lot of patience. Thank you for your love. Always.
• Thank you to my client who eventually will pay me and I will greatly appreciate it.
• Thank you for every book I will read, for shining your light.
• Thank you November and December for being a great end to a great year. I look forward to your goodness.
• Thank you to whatever further recipes I try for working out and being yummy.
• And thank you to all of my lovely ladies and jellyspoons!

Love. Period.



I've been debating on this post for a week or so now. I suppose the best way to begin would be simply to illustrate my life and how I choose to live it. I'm white, I'm female, I'm plus size, I'm an abuse survivor and I'm sure there are lots of things that people could, and do, choose to judge me on. I've been bullied and discriminated against. I live by a policy of honesty. While I care about the words I use, I do not sugar coat what I am to say to someone for fear that it may not be what they would want to hear as I think they deserve the respect of my honesty. I've often found people who find this disconcerting because most aren't that way. My goal each day is to be a better person than I was the day before. And while there are things in this life that I want to do and accomplish, I know what my one purpose in life is . . . to love. That will be a life worth living.

But for every light there is a shadow. A dark place in which love is corrupted by ignorance and hatred. In the last couple weeks this has become extremely evident to me, and yet I find solace in the goodness that I see in people and what has stemmed through recent events as well as years of fighting for a cause . . .

Recently, through various blogs I read, I came across an article written by someone for Marie Claire. The basic jist was a summation of her lack of understanding and intolerance for someone who was outside of her definition of what was the norm for body image. This, coupled with the fact that more recent acceptance of plus size, full figured, husky, whatever-you-want-to-call it has been a call to arms for some of America, sickened her. My issues is not with her acceptance or unacceptance of those who are of the larger variety, God knows I am, but more with her gross neglegence for her spewing of hatred and her sheer ignorance for this issue. Unlike many of my fellow women, I choose not to tear her down and call her this name or that name, but I am saddened that in such a public forum she chose to not think before she acted and to be such a poor example of what a woman should be. It weighs heavy on my heart that rather than support and encourage each other in all our forms, we instead seek to rip each other apart and tear each other down for our differences. I extend this sadness also towards the women who were cruel in their retaliation towards her afterwards for I think such comments and hatred are just as terrible. Do I think she has a right to an opinion? She sure as heck does. Do I think she should be representing women everywhere on a national platform? Sure as heck not. I was particularly perturbed when she threw  in the "I have friends who are plus size women" card. This is not an international save face to make your point more righteous. That's like saying you have a token african american friend so your racist bigotry is acceptable. As her plus-one plus size friend, I would certainly not remain silent on such prejudice. She, of course, later issues an apology citing that that wasn't what she meant to say or how she meant to come off, despite her shock-jock position.

In further national news, today I came across the story of an Arkansas educator who used his facebook account to display a message of hatred towards an alternative community. A light has recently been shown on the fact that there is an alarming rate of bullying and hatred spreading like wildfire as well as, and worse, a suicide rate because of this. This extends further to the undercurrent of repugnance towards the gay, bisexual and trans-gender community. And because of this, the media has shown an increasing light on the number of suicides that have been the result of such bullying. In response to a call for rememberance, this educator chose to be an example of disgust and cruelty, responding with inapropriate name calling and a flood of dogma that, without thought, could spread like wildfire. An educator. A man to support and encourage and nurture and foster goodness. And instead, he fostered hate. There was such a national outcry that a facebook page was created calling for his resignation with support of 1,000 people an hour. He did in fact resign yesterday and spoke with Anderson Cooper saying this was not him and the entire situation was blown out of proportion. And while it's a vallient effort and step in the right direction I suppose, I found myself not caring. Not because of my disgust in humanity or my disbelief in the good of mankind, quite the opposite. Just as in the columnist, I don't care for your apology out of pressure. At the end of the day you are left with simply who you are. Your choice is to decide what you want that to look like.

Hatred is taught. You hear it long enough, you believe it. It surrounds you and consumes you. You know of no other way, see no other course of action, feel that your view is the only view because how could it possibly be wrong. I don't care for your apology, it makes no difference to me. What I care for is that you care enough to take note of your ignorance by choice and open your mind and heart to the vast population outside of your small world. To live one's life as though only you matter is a waste of spirit and soul.

I'd like to bring light to this amazing tolerance campaign spearheaded by Cyndi Lauper that brings encouragement to people facing political issues that are on the hotbed of controversy currently and illustrates that change needs to happen. Please Give A Damn and share the potential with others.

"I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul."

Fright Night: A Halloweenie Tale

Like every other awesome blogger, I feel that it only right to share about the awesomeness that was this year's Halloween . . . Every year I struggle a little with Halloween because I long for it to be awesome while not partaking in what is considered the typical Halloween fun-ness to be had. (Really though, is any Halloween typical?) I don't really like huge crowds and don't feel that looking ridiculously trashy is a goal to obtain (other than for my man), so there goes the party route. And honestly, I don't even find dressing up to all that fun. I'm not a creative costume come-upper, so it's never spectacular. I don't mind fun pins or beads or makeup, but beyond that, eh. I also don't feel terribly motivated to go all out with the decorationness. This goes the same for Christmas. Oh sure, lights are great and pumpkins are awesome (see mine above), but anything more than this is the effort that's just out of reach. Don't get me wrong, I love those who do all out. In fact, I'm thoroughly impressed and often marvel at where said effort was mustered from. Probably the kidlets. Anywho, so coming up with my awesomeness is sort of the task each year.

This year I started out with a lovely breakfast at Elmer's. Mmmm hot cocoa and breakfast foods, yummers! And I love dining out with those people who carry great conversations so you never feel that the quietness is empty and aren't terribly compelled to leave once finished. Just sitting in the moment and smile inside and out. And it's not just pictures! A hug is worth a thousand words too!

At the Farmer's Market

Afterwards I found myself with a perfect parking spot, wandering past Dark Horse comics (love their window display!) and into the last farmer's market of the season. There's so many sights and sounds and smells at the market to partake in. The hustle and bustle of it all is tremendous, yet you never feel rushed. Passing some of the fresh vegitable stalls I often find myself wishing I knew how to cook more just so I could bring some of it home. As it was I came home with a lovely bouquet of purple and pink dahilias, ooo la la!, and some face painting magic. I couldn't help myself. I love face painting, but don't like my whole face covered. And it's fun and whimsical. Earlier that week I was at an OMSI event (more later) and missed out on an opportunity for a great face paint so this was sort of redeeming. It may not have been all that I was hoping for, but really, can you complain? Heck no! And of course, dying to be different, I didn't go with the predictable pumpkin on the cheek. I dared to be different in the name of love . . . even on Halloween.

I wear my hearts on my face too . . .

Next I went home, did some cleaning and dvr watching. I admit, my simpleness is boring and lovely. And then the puppy dog and I went on a great big walk. A) She needed it. B) I was hoping the walk would tucker her out a little so she wouldn't spazz out at the trick or treaters. And take note of Boo's festive Halloween-themed scarf in honor of the day. It had little ghosts on it! Upon our return I realized it was getting dark and my lack of cooking motivation kicked in, so under the BS disguise of "needing to move the other car so the trick-or-treaters had room to walk up the driveway", I obsconded with the vehicle for a quick getaway for cheap food. I'm horrible. I admit it. And of course, got back just in time!

This year I was feeling semi-unoriginal in my pumpkin theme for carving. Three pumpkins will do that to you. That is, until I came across SillyGirl's pumpkin carving post and though hmmm, I could do that too. I admit it, I jacked the idea. But in my original spin, and love of Nightmare Before Christmas, I went a step further and attempted to create a Sally for Jack. Not thoroughly impressed with Sally, but I love Jack! And I tried my best at the scraped pumpking, but it's not as easy as one might think. I've never done the scraped pumpkin designs because I never felt the need. So I thought, what the heck. Never again! This is not fun. Whoever says it is, is lying. If it's the only pumpkin you're carving and have lots of tools and are super ambitious, maybe. Me = no bueno. But I did it anyway :)

Trick or treaters. I love trick or treaters. Particularly the teensy ones. They are so sweet and excited. Secretly, I give more candy to the younger ones because they are cute and I know they'll cover less square footage than the older more ambitious ones. And I always buy an extra bag that I hide in case I start running out and always buy candy I like. This is a plus and a minus, depending on how good it looks to me that night, hehe. But all in all, I'd say that answering the door and watching scary movies went off quite well.

Halloween? Satisfaction achieved.



Things I Love Thursday

Happy November everyone! I definitely have some catch up to do on my blog. But, after being inspired by Miss Darling, I thought I'd start out with my TiLT. Though crazy, things have been really good lately and I've been digging on some awesome things lately . . .

♥ My creative attempt at pumpkin carving this week. More on that coming! ♥ Slowly getting through my Halloween movie staples. Even if they are a little late. I was too lazy to dig them out until this week. ♥ Taking on new and exciting adventures at work. ♥ Finally getting my package from Land's End filled with all sorts of cold weather goodies in yummy splendid colors! ♥ Long walks with the puppy dog in the rain. My one exception to this is late at night. ♥ Chilly mornings coupled with beautiful sunrises and warm english breakfast tea.
♥ The leaves all turning shades of reds, oranges and yellows.
♥ The birthmark in my hair. ♥ Making my first ever apple pie and my mom ooooing that I had made my own crust. ♥ My new flannel sheets. ♥ My new candy apple green vest. ♥ Long sleeve shirts and new fun boyshort prints. ♥ Wearing big warm impractical socks around the house when my tootsies get cold. ♥ A day at the movie theater. ♥ Reading in bed while listening to the rain. ♥ Getting four loads of laundry finished. ♥ Finally tidying up my dresser and bathroom. ♥ The smell of the puppy dog after she's dried from bath day. ♥ Getting excited for the holiday season to come.
♥ Finally letting go . . . ♥








Wishing all of my ladies and jellyspoons a wonderful thursday!