Monday, March 22, 2010

Same Ole' Sin, Different Day

I have long known that problems are problems. And until you deal with them, they will follow you . . . no matter your size, attitude, location or destination. I struggle with this at times I think because they are a part of my addictive qualities. I never did drugs or drank excessively, so other things took the place.

Self-Sin #1: Solitary Confinement Someone made the comment to me that I "seem sort of solitary" yesterday. I hated to inform them that this was an on-going weekly feature last week. I get that way when I'm ughy. It makes me not want to deal with the masses. The funny thing is, I got ughy because I wanted to deal with the masses and it didn't work out so then I just drew into myself. Wednesday I hid out in the movie theater for hours on end. And it was great. Thursday I took myself on a road trip to test my ankle. And it was an awesome time! Sunday, after returning from a night at my mom's (woohoo!), I cleaned, did laundry and painted all night. And I see nothing wrong with this. Why is there such a negative conotation to doing things alone? I don't mind going to the movies alone or taking long drives. I can get coffee alone and read a book or draw. I like going to museums, taking photos or painting alone. I'm a solo work-outer. But then there comes the fine line of enjoying one's alone time and becoming a crabby old spinster? I like to think I walk that fine line every day.

Self-Sin #2: The Chocolate Fix Right now, chocolate is evil. It is not my friend. it's my downfall. After being casted for two months (broken leg) and not being able to work out and then having a craptastic week last week, I really need to get off the sweet tooth and back to yummy good-for-you goodness. I'm quiting cold turkey. "It's quitin' time!"

Self-Sin #3: Same Ole' Boys, Same Ole' Train Wreck I have a pattern I am trying to avoid. Same ole' boys with the same ole' frustration and the same damn attitudes. They haven't changed, their situations haven't changed, they are the same ole' train wreck. It's so easy to fall back into these distructive people of comfort. Especially when I've been in solitary confinement for the last week and they are convenient. Or are they? Well frankly, I'm not interested. I think they all get a memo or see the bat signal that says "I'm available". Well I'm not. Not to you anyway. Now kindly go away.

Self-Sin #4: The Movie Binge I realized last night that I've bought waaaaay too many movies in the last couple months. I think it's because I've been trapped in the little hole de' cast of not being able to do anything so I placated myself with movie awesomeness. This is great, except I'm running out of room lol. Once I satisfy my western movie fix (I long to find some westerns on dvd!) then I'm done for awhile. I have plenty to watch, I'm not going to miss out on anything. Instead I think I'm going to stash the money and put it towards something good this summer. We'll see how that goes.

Self-Sin #5: Lack of Things That Make You Happy Weirdly enough, this is becoming the easiest thing for me to over come. I remember what made me happy. Working out. Long car rides. Flowers. Reading. Painting. Hot tub soaks. Putting time into my appearance. These things all make me happy. I just have to make sure not to over-indulge. That would be bad. I also have to remember that the basics are just as important as these things.

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