Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Hug Me

I need a hug. A good hug would be good right now. For a multitude of reasons. They are as follows :)

Food Coma: I am currently recovering from a food coma today. A meat extravaganza. Our work department went to Brazill Grill last night and oh my gosh . . . meat. I love Brazill Grill, like 12 differently prepared meats and yummy pineapple. Where could you go wrong? It's a meal made for a man! It's also a meal that you prepare for by not eating a whole lot that day lol. And while it was oh so yummy and completely worth it, the meal combined with other things put me right to sleep. I woke up and it was pretty much not even a question of being hungry. Had to go very simple, chai tea and a slice of banana bread. Anything more than that and ugh.

Pain. The Good Kind: I decided to finally get my tush back in the gym yesterday. I've been really wanting to, but have been avoiding it like the plague for various reasons. I can't currently do what I was doing before to the same extent, I haven't been in months, recovering from the broken leg, tired, blah blah blah, excuse excuse excuse. So I made myself go. And it felt wonderful. Oh how I missed being in water. I love water, I'm a huge water baby. Swimming and splashing and moving around all feel very natural. I will note though that I quickly realized that I've lost so much tone and endurance it's ridiculous. Between the lack of working out before getting injured (the winter blues?) and getting injured, I feel blobby. Not ok. But I am determined to get that and more back and I'm so excited about it. But of course, there's that day-after discovery of muscles you had forgotten about and all new ones . . . ouch.

Bon Voyage To Emotional Baggage!: This weekend I finally got around to getting my stuff from X. I made myself go over while it was nice and just do it. And of course, the things X thinks are yours vs what really is yours is exponentially different. I paid for a lot of big name pieces and stuff during the relationship, but I just don't care about leaving those. Why be bitchy? Just took the stuff that was mine that meant something to me or was important or he wouldn't use and a friend could. Got my dining table and patio umbrella though thanks to my dad's car and my awesome helpful gal pal. I'm so thankful for that! I will say the whole thing hit me a lot harder than expected. I've been doing well and feeling good that it was definitely the right decision for me and being months out of it gives you a comforting level of dettachment. But going back and reliving the places and items and cat, that'll do it. I also admit, I had a petty moment. X did something incredibly petty and it hurt so I retaliated by taking something extra that I was going to leave. I was stupid and I shouldn't have done it. Everyone says I was perfectly in the right to take it since I paid for it, but I think it's the reason I did so that bugs me. I hate petty stuff and try to pride myself on not being that way. I guess everyone has a moment of childishness where stupidity reigns supreme. My friend said something interesting to me . . . "Do you care what they think of you?" And to be honest, I do. I shouldn't, but I do. I care what ending impression I leave someone with. Even though you end it, if it was still an ok experience, I'd like to leave on an ok note. Oh well I guess. To be honest, I doubted myself for two seconds. Then of course, I came to my senses. Silly me! I had a moment saying good bye to kitty. That was probably the hardest. I love kitty. But forced myself to leave and move forward which is a good thing for me. It's what is right. I know for certain that's definitely not the situation for me and am enjoying the new stage of life of I'm in now . . .

Have I earned my hug yet? I sure hope so!

On a side note, I'd like to leave off with what I consider a good hug to be. I understand there's all sorts of hug types . . . the side hug, the jump-into-your-arms-excited hug, the lean-in-but-not-touch-shoulder-pat hug, the so-good-to-see-you hug. All of these are everyday hugs. And they are all acceptable at applicable times. But to be more precise, I think I need a good boy hug. One of those full body hugs, that surrounds you with warmth and comfort. That fills your nose pleasantly with the smell of the other person (assuming they smell good, one would hope). That wraps around you and envelopes you. The kind that you don't want to let go from and that you smile and say mmmm to yourself. Now that's a good hug.

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