Thursday, April 1, 2010

Neat Trick

You know what's great about today? Tomorrow's friday. Lol. I love friday because it's casual friday at my work and with the already semi-languid pace of support requests currently, it makes for a nice end to the week. I also work completely with menfolk so casual can actually be casual and not stuffy. That's nice.

I've kind of been in this weird haze today. I woke up from really weird dreams and, despite having slept a goodly amount of hours, my body just did not want to wake up. Couple that with the funk that allergies put into your head and it just makes things ughy. It was a beautiful day here and that was nice, I just wish I could have appreciated it more. After work I grabbed some food and then fell asleep reading in bed for a couple of hours. After waking up, I could have just gone back to sleep, but I thought it would be good to blog before bed and it gave me the perfect excuse for some tea. Tea time!

I've been trying to read this book called Shadow of the Wind. It's been challenging. I'm not sure why, but I feel like I've been waiting to truly get into it. Grant you I like it, the descriptions of everything are beatiful and well written, not like the twilight dribble. But at almost halfway into it, I'm still waiting to truly sink my teeth into it. My mother recommended the book to me. We like to share reading materials back and forth. She recommended The Shack to me and I absolutely loved it. I'm hoping this ones hooks me in more. i think part of the reason I'm so commited to reading it, other than being half of the way into it, is because she said it's her favorite. For my mother to say a book is her favorite, that's a pretty big endorsement. I owe it the opportunity. my grandmother on the other hand, that's hit or miss when it comes to recommendations . . . we'll see there.

It's Holy Week. i will say that when I was little easter never held much reverence for me. Beyond chocolate bunnies and easter eggs that is, hehe. I understood the general principles of it of course, but the meaning never really sank in until much later in life when I came back to my faith to reside. Now the general feeling of it all sits in a good place. I'm debating on whether or not to go to church sunday though. I am as of yet undecided. I love going to church and the feeling it gives me, I don't do it that often though. I'm picky on church. I don't really like big loud congregations (loud as in youth loud, not loud as in baptist loud) and I was raised more in the traditional sense iof church. I.e. no tvs, dressing up nicely. I understand that there is sort of a goal to bring in the younger generations, but eh. If I have faith, I'll be there. I don't need the extra hooha to sucker me in. To me it's not about showing me how prosperous you are monitarily, it's about showing me your love for God.

Easter Eggs. I use to do easter eggs with my mom when I was little and have since tried to continue the tradition. I didn't really think about it until now, but now that I'm thinking about it, that might be fun. But instead of using dye, I might paint them. I've never tried it before, but it could result in some goodness.

I processed and posted some pictures I took last night and last summer. It was nice to be able to come back to them and feel good about what was produced. If I do a photo excursion, I don't care how many pictures I take as long as I can come out with one or two really good ones that I can feel good about. And often I have to come back to them later with a fresh eye to be able to appreciate what came out of the trip. I'm really looking forward to nicer weather. Last year I got lost and didn't really do too much photography. Not gonna happen this year. I'm determined to take as many trips as possible and to capture some new sights. I'm hoping to do a couple solo trips around Oregon and Washington to get some good photos. I was hoping to do my AZ road trip this year, but I think it will have to wait till next year.

I think my hormones are up in the air today. I feel sort of angsty. It probably doesn't help that I'm an overthinker and sort of up in the air about just about everything in my life right now. I'm trying to appreciate the beauty of this time in my life and not rush to "the next stage". I'm trying to just be. And while I've rediscovered a lot of myself in the last month or so, I don't think I've really hit my groove yet. My goal next week, hopefully this weekend even, is to get a couple good swims in. We'll see with all the plans that are going on next week, but I guess if you don't make time then it's never going to happen. I feel good and healthy when I'm working out so I think that puzzle piece is definitely missing. I wish my leg were fully healed, but I guess patience is also part of the rehabilitation process.

I think I'm also overthinking this solitary concept. I think I'm overthinking the idea that someone should give a whit about it. I like spending time alone as much as I like spending time with my good friends and family. My alone time keeps me sane and it's also my time to be with me. I don't think that can be wrong. My alone time keeps me sane. I don't need it all the time and I'm quite content having someone special to experience things with, but I also like that time just to process whether it's to read, hike, paint, or anything else that suits my fancy. Oh geez, now I feel like I'm justifying my aloneness. This is craptastic. It seems like there's such a negative conotation to the term "alone". I get lonely sometimes. Don't be fooled, it happens. Not always, but it will creep in here and there. Particularly when I'm not keeping myself occupied. But I think right now that's just one more emotion to get comfortable with rather than glaze over. I think part of the reason I am comfortable in my alone time is because I decided long ago that I couldn't wait forever for someone else to show me the things I wanted to see and experience the things I wanted to experience. Not everyone else would hav ethe money to go here or not everyone would want to do this. So I just did it. Some call it fearless, to me it's just logical. And secretly, dancing in my living room and conducting music that plays on my ipod is a delicious way to experience.

Ya know, I would consider myself not one to trend hop. Ipod, iphone, blue ray, Office 2007, Windows 7, blah blah blah. I love my vcr as much as I love my dvd player. My dvr is evil genius. I have a small, non flat screen tellie in my personal space. When mp3 players first came out I didn't buy in. I was quite content with my neato cd player. I'm still happy with it in fact, I can beat the crap out of that thing and it still works. I didn't think I would get fully invested into the digital music scene. Then, a couple years after the first releases, my dad bought a zune which I inturn bought off him because he doesn't end up using half the crap he buys. So just like his portable dvd player, I became the proud owner of a mp3 player. And I loved it. I was floored by how invested I got into it. It was so handy! I could take it everywhere, listen to it anywhere and watch things at the drop of a hat! What amazing goodness! And then it died. Boo. It took me a year or so to reinvest into the digital awesomeness again. Partly because of the expense and partly because I decided to go big or go home. A piddly 30gb was not going to cut it for me. I could fill that up in an instant. I'm a bit of a music junkie. So I went for the big tamale, 160gb ipod. And I fell in love again. The handiness has returned and is astounding. Sort of bummed I can't put a background on it like I could my zune, but who really cares? The same thing kind of happened to me with the iphone. I was completely content in my blissful ignorance of the iphone temptation with my awesome pink phone. But then it started to get kind of old and the need to have email on the go for biz started to press forth. So I went 'a shoppin' and found that for the price, there was no contest. Everything was almost as expensive as the next and omg the iphone! I did not relized how attached I would get to it and now I love it. I'm a convert. A traitor to the phone world, a part of the dark side. Muahahaha. I'm still determined to not give a darn about blue ray though . . . maybe in a couple years ;)

Blast it, now I'm kind of awake. I was hoping this would make me feel done for the day, like I accomplished what I needed to and then I could feel ok about going to bed for the night. But nooooo . . . Now I'm in this half awake half asleep phase. Argh. And no, I'm not contributing this to the tea, I refuse to blame the tea. Or the nap. Not the nap. I have other things for other blogs, but my fear is that if I don't stop now, then I'll blog for the next couple hours and not go to bed at a decent time. That would be bad. In the back of my head I'm also wondering what I want to do with my friday after work. I'm thinking of maybe taking myself to a movie in the afternoon and then having a pizza night afterwards. I haven't had pizza in a couple months and it kind of sounds good to me right now. I'm not sure what I want to do beyond pizza though. That whole tv diet thing sort of eliminates the possibility of mindlessly zoning out to the boob tube. Maybe some blogging, maybe a little painting if I'm feeling more awake. I am contemplating doing two small paintings for the upcoming ladies birthdays. Of flowers maybe. I always love the challenge of doing new flowers. I'd have to get a couple small canvases, but oh the art store is a dangerous place for me. I could get lost with ideas depending on my mood.

On this note, I think I'm going to sign off, get ready for bed and attempt to read a little further. I wish you all a pleasant evening! Love!

No comments:

Post a Comment